


God Taketh and God Yeeteth Away

by LunaStories



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Candy, Crack, Don't question it, Established Relationship, Fic or Treat 2019, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Meme Culture, Memes, Santa Claus - Freeform, Wade being a sweet boyfriend, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 02:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaStories/pseuds/LunaStories
Summary: Wade buys Peter more candy than he can handle. In true holiday fashion, they decide to spread a little holiday cheer by sharing in the spoils.





	God Taketh and God Yeeteth Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll my prompt fills are only more nonsensical as we go so here's another one. This is for Prompt 68: Peter is giving out candy guerilla-style: dropping it on unsuspecting pedestrians, and Prompt 146: "November 1st is my favorite day because that's when all the good candy goes on sale". THIS IS ALSO A TRICK BECAUSE IT IS CRACK.
> 
> Many thanks for Bamf for organizing the fic or treat event and to DramamineOnTopOfMe for being my omega reader and helping me with the tags and summary!
> 
> Please enjoy this very dubious fic.

The thing about Halloween that Peter loved the most was the day after. This was due to the fact that November 1st was when all the leftover candy went on sale.

However, when one had a rich mercenary boyfriend, well…

“Happy Halloween, Petey pie!”

Peter stared into his apartment in abject horror, his quick reflexes the only things stopping him from dropping his keys.

On every available surface (yes even the floor) was piles upon piles of candy. They were every imaginable flavor, and Peter could already feel the sugar rush just by standing near the mountains of sweets.

“Wade…what the _fuck_?”

Wade deflated a little at that, giving Peter puppy dog eyes even through the mask. “You don’t like it? I figured since you were always so excited about candy after Halloween that I’d treat you and give you candy _on_ Halloween.”

Peter couldn’t help the laugh that fell out of him, his hand coming up to hide his grin. Honestly this was the sweetest thing Wade had done so far (pun intended) but it was still a little overwhelming.

“Wade, the reason why November 1st is my favorite personal holiday is because all the candy goes on sale. And it makes my cheapskate heart sing when I get to cash in on those amazing deals.”

“So you…_do_ like this?” Wade tilted his head, eyes squinting.

Peter waded through the mountains of candy until he stood next to his boyfriend. He was a little taller than Wade due to the massive pile of Snickers he was standing on, and it allowed him to cup Wade’s face and lean in for a kiss through the mask. “I love it. It’s very _sweet_, thank you.”

Wade’s “hehe I see what you did there” was muffled when Peter yanked up the mask, enough so that he could give Wade a proper kiss. Just as Wade’s hands started gravitating to his ass, Peter broke the kiss.

“I think I have an idea for all this candy,” Peter grinned, wide and mischievous.

“We’re going to eat it?” Wade asked, a hopeful lilt in his voice.

“Nope. Come on, we have some costumes we need to grab.”

And that was how the Daily Bugle ended up publishing papers the next day of Deadpool and Spiderman wearing Santa Claus hats and throwing candy at random people.

They would appear randomly, swinging by with a giant sack of candy and throwing handfuls onto the pedestrians below.

One eye witness said that Spiderman was particularly gleeful about it and that he’d obtained a black eye from a Gobstopper that Spiderman had thrown at him.

“And you don’t think this is a reason to press charges?” The reporter asked, obviously angling for something to incriminate Spiderman with.

“Nah,” The college kid replied with a shrug as he pressed the ice pack to his eye. “It’s not every day I get hit by Spiderman as he screams ‘YA YEET’ at me. I’m honored, really.”

Other eye witnesses said that Deadpool screamed ‘Merry Halloween’ at random intervals and belted out “All I want for Christmas is You” but with lyrics from “Welcome to the Black Parade” as he showered the citizens with candy.

It was an eventful Halloween all around. 

**Author's Note:**

> You made it this far congrats, I'm sorry you had to read that but I hope it wasn't too stupid x'D
> 
> The song Wade mentioned is a masterpiece and you can check it out [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zQ53oXITyk).
> 
> If you enjoyed it please do leave a comment!
> 
> As always, you can find my tumblr [here](http://lunastories.tumblr.com/). Feel free to drop by and say hi!


End file.
